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Which side of the fence do you sit on?

Updated: Nov 15, 2022

Are you someone who sits there wondering why me, what have I done to deserve this, here we go again or give me a break? Do you spend your time holding onto the fence for dear life as you go through yet another challenge, another spell of bad luck or another all consuming bad day? Do you feel you are being pushed to your limit? Do you sit there expecting life to be challenging, for nothing to go right as you just don't have that kind of luck. This is a rocky route with big risk of dips and falls, low mood, unhappiness or depression! Also all of these things could have you sat on the wrong side of the fence for as long as you allow it too.

We all have bad days, we all face challenging situations as this is part of life! But it is how we deal with them that counts! We always have the choice!

Or do you sit there in I can mode. Ok this has happened but this is what I can do about it, this is what I can learn from this or I now know that I don't want to go through that again and I can do this to ensure I do not put myself in that position again. If I really want to succeed at this I can do this or I can make myself more.... all allowing you to develop and grow with life's challenges, lessons, learning from them, developing and moving on! A much smoother route and more likely to be a happier path.

Call it the law of attraction or what ever else you like but our thoughts and minds have a big part to play in our lives. For what we spend our time dwelling on, thinking about or believing is what we tend to get played back to us in our lives. For example if you believe you are not worth success, that achieving just isn't available to you or that you are not good enough your mind presents back to you what you present to it. You see it doesn't listen to the neutral words like can't, don't, no, not, maybe, later, tomorrow. It also doesn't care if what you present to it is good, bad, healthy, unhealthy, true, false, right or wrong. It acts on your words regardless, thinking that this is what will make you happy or move you from pain towards pleasure. It will also use old outdated beliefs brought on by past experiences or trauma that helped us then and it assumes as we have not replaced them or updated them that they will still help us today.

You see it is not our minds job to work it out for us, it is our job to give our mind clear, vivid instructions. Our minds respond better to the words that paint a picture and the more vivid the picture we create the easier the minds job is. Our minds respond better to positive words and detailed enthusiastic, spirited, powerful words that inspire and ignite our minds. The mind can only work in the present tense and with what it has stored in it's memory. So like with our computers we need to delete what is no longer required or relevant, keep updating stuff that is still relevant so that it can serve us well in our lives today and save the good stuff on the hard drive for later use!

Don't stand or wobble on the fence! Take a leap of faith in yourself! Reap the rewards!

I was definitely sat on the wrong side of the fence for many years. I started the day positively but as soon as something challenged me I crumbled and the why me, it always happens to me, what have I done to deserve this would creep in and I would let it get me down. I'd grumble internally or to those who'd listen and it just kept coming. But deep down I know my self esteem was rock bottom, my belief in myself was non-existent and I certainly didn't love myself or what I saw in the mirror in any shape or form!!! So guess the universe had to keep repeating the lessons in various forms until the message was fully received. Although that was circumstantial (or was it!) as I found RTT. Marisa Peer's rules of the mind really resonated and made sense. I use these now all the time and have also used some to illustrate my points in this blog. It was on realising that I could get to feel better about myself, happier in myself, that made me do the work. Now I still face challenges but from a much better place and with different beliefs that make them easier to face. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I am still a work in progress, who isn't! But I have grown and developed to be able to deal with life's up and downs, to notice when my thoughts or beliefs wander and effect my minds role and how when I tweak them I can achieve so much more.

If you would like to find out more about RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) and how it can help you please do get in touch.

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