Toxic Behaviour Doesn’t Just Hurt in the Moment

Rebecca Heap
Jul 24
2 min read

We often think toxic behaviour is something we should just brush off.

A harsh word.

A passive-aggressive comment.

A dismissive tone.

We tell ourselves “It’s fine,” or “They didn’t mean it,” or “I’m probably overreacting.”

But the truth is…

Toxic behaviour doesn’t just hurt in the moment — it lingers.

It weaves itself into your thoughts, your choices, your self-image.

It becomes that quiet inner critic that makes you second-guess yourself.

It becomes the reason you shrink, stay silent, or struggle to trust.

And often, it’s not just a one-time experience.

Maybe you grew up around it.

Maybe it came from someone you loved or depended on.

Or maybe it’s repeating now in your adult life, your parenting, your relationships — and you can’t quite figure out why it feels so hard to move forward.

Here’s what I want you to know:

This isn’t your fault.

You didn’t choose to absorb those patterns.

You simply adapted, like all children do — to survive, to stay safe, to feel loved.

We all learn how to treat ourselves based on how we were treated — or how we perceived we were treated — during those crucial early years. And if toxic energy was in the air, even if unspoken, it leaves a mark.

But here’s the most beautiful truth:

You don’t have to carry what was never yours to hold.

You don’t have to let someone else’s pain become your pattern.

You don’t have to keep replaying beliefs that were born from other people’s wounds.

You don’t have to keep doubting your worth, your strength, or your voice.

Healing is possible.

It begins when we gently uncover those deep, often hidden roots — and finally release them.

That’s what I help my clients do every day.

Not by fixing them — because they were never broken.

But by guiding them back to who they really are underneath it all.

So whether you’re navigating difficult relationships…

Healing old emotional wounds…